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Sayonara

Posted byAna DaksinaPosted inAwesome Reader FamilyTags:,

*****

Sayonara

Efforts do have lifespans.

This one has lasted for five years.

In that five years it has reached out to dozens of nations worldwide, with its messages of hope for the potentials of the human being.

One million times, someone has gotten the benefit of this message.

Even if fully half of those views were only passing glances, the remainder, in a world like ours, constitutes a significant lifetime achievement for one disabled and marginalized autistic genius.

The poet will continue to park under police cameras, so that it can always be verified that she is in no way connected with whatever mayhem does or does not occur in her near vicinity.

*****

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Published by Ana Daksina

Read worldwide one million times, Ana Daksina is a Troubador of the coming age.

179 thoughts on “Sayonara”

  1. life in liminal spaces is, I find, very tiring …

    for sure the relation between not-self, self and others is or canbe invigorating but equally negating …

    the persistent egoic hegemony of largely nefarious invested influences is a real bummer…

    and, it seems, there’s no getting away from the grind, externally of course

    btw you’re very early today 😊

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      6. I know a woman called Ana Daksina,
        Who’s words, unlike mine,
        Rhyme and have meaning

        There is this woman called Ana,
        she’s good with words,
        as well as a spanner (and hammer)

        * Suicide is an odd phenomena. For me it’s a consequence of the latent hatred [or add your own word] foisted on the unsuspecting. Those who dare to trust in opening their hearts to the very people who mean them harm. Apparently,Nero was a dab hand at such manipulation and so too is Ana’s perp. Perhaps, Ana’s readers could each write one of those hyoke(sp) things to let her know what she brings to you and the world. Just asking. If I can so can yous. She also needs cash.*

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    1. Done bumming out friends who can’t help, and appealing to a nation which won’t. All I’m doing here is committing suicide by system, any more. Thank you for your reach outs, blessings on your happy home.

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    1. Dearest Louisa. I suppose so long as life remains there is hope. These predators will leave me my life only to see me suffer bit by bit. They know that after a certain stage of misery the ability to give refinements like poetry is gone. They have eliminated my home, my ability to get a home, my legal credibility, my ability to have a love relationship ever again, and they are slowly eliminating my van and only shelter. Now they have removed my public readership.

      It’s only a matter of time, my government seems to be one hundred percent in favor of my silent elimination, and I would choose for it to happen more quickly than they have planned.

      I know you are with me to the end and beyond. I’m glad you won’t have to know when and how that shift occurs. Pray that I’ll be given the chance to kill myself before they leave me looking like all those poor animals they tortured and killed and left in my path.

      I gave poetry as long as there was even a little to give. I have nothing to give now.

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      2. I always asked myself why Geronimo gave up just two hundred miles south of the Canadian border.

        When one has been hounded to the edge of exhaustion and then one hundred times beyond it, two hundred miles is death.

        But that’s not the whole story. If it were, he would have run until he died, trying to save his people. The whole story is that they weren’t going to leave him alone just because he crossed a border.

        He represented a way of life which was being eliminated. He had to go.

        I am under no illusions that my silence will win me life. But it will win me some few moments of peace between now and its end.

        I can be proven wrong. I can receive actual protection from the actual nation which recognizes the actual value of my contribution.

        That dream has kept me alive and contributing all these years.

        We didn’t sign the biodiversity agreement. And we’re not going to save me.

        I am only allowing myself the dignity of death without every reader clinging for thrills to every moan and sob, right? Bad enough my targeter takes pictures and recordings and sends them back to the author of this tragedy, to be laughed at: my demon daughter.

        So it was for King Arthur. So it seems to be for all here, at someone’s hand or another. So I have no purpose here now and am quite ready to go home.

        I’ll look forward to seeing, as well as feeling, you there, dear soul.

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      3. Don’t give up: even if most poets are recognized as great after death: why give this satisfaction?

        I am truly saddened that a daughter, someone you gave life to, wants to deprive you of yours. Think about it, it is beyond all human charity.
        Not even a beasts would go that far.
        A human being in Italy does so only if there are economic interests, the desire for an inheritance that could change their status

        💞💞💞

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      4. It is, I believe, economic interests ~ those invested in changing the status quo not at all ~ which have prevented this situation ~ enormous, nationwide, just the predation on this one poet, never mind what else they’re into ~ from being addressed by law enforcement.

        The predator will find out how much he is actually worth to them after he has finished his job of discrediting and eliminating me. To his outlaw partners, too. I think his end will be by neglect not long after.

        But that’s not my concern.

        They’re not winning ~ the poetry’s right there online, all of it. All anybody has to do is want it enough to go get it. If someone wants it, let them publish and promote it…

        See? No takers. Five years. Four thousand flawless pages.

        My focus right now is to be fully present in the moment, so that I do not die screaming, either on or off line. When they come and there is no escape, I want to know it. Dignity has been denied so often in this life ~ I require some, if possible,in death.

        They can’t win ~ the work is there for all. But they can still make me lose very badly. I haven’t deserved a single bit of this. I sure don’t deserve that.

        I know you mean well. But it is like having given your heart and lungs already and being asked why you are not going on to give your liver too.

        I know you have been trying to make me feel that my work is worthwhile. Certainly it was, even if only one person benefitted one time. Bless you for it. Bless you altogether. I feel you near me. I love you.

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    1. That’s very kind. I strive for tranquility while my last shelter is being taken apart around me. My predators can leave me unable to operate it at any moment, so that it will be towed away from me, or they can release toxic substances into it as they’ve done on two nights recently. I’m waiting for the end.

      Thank you for checking on me. I ended my online effort because all I have is sadness to share, and I don’t want to create that, so I’ll know your good wishes are with me without you having to actually reach out for the bummer. Shouldn’t be long now. The sooner the better, as far as I’m concerned.

      Blessings on your beautiful heart, my dear. 🙏

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    1. You are truly good.

      In the case of this organization, what they would do is collect my story and use it as part of their own advocacy in shaping general policy, not to assist me in any present way. I would be helping them, not they me.

      It is advocacy ~ for the police, landowners and wealthy as well as for the marginalized, laboring and homeless, that has gotten me where I am: living in a glass cage, unable to reach out to my fellowman on any level without earning them persecution, mocked at every moment of the day, perpetually vulnerable to any sort of additional mayhem they may wish to wreak in my life.

      It is from advocacy I resigned when I put down that huge online work burden.

      There is no other help for me than the very government which has been pointedly ignoring this predator and myself for three years, 10,000 miles and millions of dollars in infrastructure damage.

      Either they are entirely inept, or they consider silencing me worth the price. There are no other choices in solving the equation. Kind of a backward compliment, yes?

      Thank you for thinking of me. I have sent blessings back for you as well, for what they’re worth!

      May the circle be unbroken, by and by…

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      2. When I was promoting my web book on homelessness, ten years ago now, there were already one hundred homeless aid organizations in Boston alone. It’s legal to feed the homeless there too, which in a lot of cities it’s not. Here in Pueblo a lady just got an award for doing it. Yay for this city!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yes, here we’re all about “shelters.” Shelters are jails. I would not be able to sleep because my legal pain medication is illegal there. And there is “no unsupervised exits” for the twelve hours you’re in. No checking on the vehicle at risk. Jail.

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      6. I do agree. I’ve researched what’s available over the last few years, and there is no place for age, infirmity, special genius or calling or special needs of any kind in the modern ecphousing/organic farm scene. The only things approaching old style organic family are in states which do not allow my medicine, so I haven’t been able to check them out. Mostly, it’s all oriented around either low budget “learning” labor or lots of money with which to be ecologically hip.

        Bottom line, humanity needs a dawn of consciousness.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I am hoping now that silence adds to rather than subtracts from the power of words already written. Certainly I seem for the moment to have taken my words as far as they can go without beginning to do more harm than good, and since good is what I always sought to do with them, it is time now for me not to use them. Perhaps the thousands of pages of words I have offered will come into their power, perhaps not ~ it is the nature of our physical Dimension not to know. I make my contributions now in daylong meditation and prayer for all in these tumultuous times.

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    1. That’s most loving of you.

      I’m sitting in the 20° cold at 1 am, having been maliciously wakened.

      Nothing’s changed, except that they have to go about their work a little more quietly here. So far.

      Wish I had better news.

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    1. Hi, bro… I hear the invitation, and every time I do the reasons not to answer come right behind it, in the form of increased five year old behaviors on the part of my pursuer and his perpetual clueless recruits.

      Aside from these, I’ve noticed the universe has swung in immediately and powerfully behind my silence. Some unexpected funds appeared. People seem to react to me differently when I’m fully in the moment, too.

      I haven’t stopped my work ~ just doing it in the form of meditation at the moment. Not closed to returning to writing, but it will have to be in better circumstances.

      I’m hearing from you, so I guess you are still alive, viable and kicking? Always good news 👍

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  19. Silence and Self are but one and the same, as I too have found of late. I, of course, respect that which you do and whole heartedly wish you good fortune(s). And, I am indeed alive and kicking, much to the disquiet of some. Like many others Ana I do, genuinely so, miss reading your posts yet take a delight in your finding some solace and favour in new meditative work. Take care Dearest Poet your woodcraft is tobehold. Your courage and bravery leaves me speechless. And I say this With love, Sis.

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    1. Beautifully said. I think we are not the only two lightworkers finding ourselves upon this cusp. From India to England to the good ol’ USA, folks are finding themselves suddenly more attracted to the actual moment than what we think we can get from ~ or even, apparently, imagine we contribute to that moment…

      Thank you from my heart for your beautiful validations. They have helped guide me over these past months 🙏

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  20. Oh, Ana, my presence on WP has clearly been hit and miss for awhile, based on my tardiness in responding to your post… I am SO sorry… I have read every loving comment above and I hope you feel my own love being added to the mix. For all the beauty this world has to offer, there is also so much brokenness. I am so sorry for all you are going through. I wish I had better words; something perfect to say but sometimes, there are no perfect words… I AM sending my love. I wish that were enough…xoxo 💕🙏

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    1. Keep mixing, Friends of Ana. Her presence is also felt without a visual cue to do so. Add a drop of the good stuff a little at a time and see what blossoms come Spring.

      * Unsupported thought inevitably fragments until all egoic desire gives way, The untenable demands of habit melt away in a Silence divine. A friend knows to offer, without fuss and carry-on, a material kindness to tend to physical and material whilst the soul-self attends to the oneness of being-at-source.Ana, nodoubtedly recording her journey in words yet to become. She will need her friends and readers to meet these material needs. It’s, of course, up to you. Be the difference.*

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      1. Good. Torn though. Being without judgement is a difficult place for the ego. I am finding greater solace in aloneness than ever before. Like 160/168 hrs per week X 2 months. Although, a life time of habits still burst forth on contact with others. I never considered, fully, just how conditioned and conditioning life had/s become. Strange but strangely Good to know.

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      2. Me too, me too and me too.

        I find myself so dissatisfied with my own conversational performance on those few occasions I do interact with others that it takes me hours afterward to reestablish serenity.

        This life represents extreme hardship as well for a female of my age and disability, and it doesn’t help to be mocked every time I take a deep breath.

        As I have it, there are those who’ve been living in the fifth dimension, already ascended, this whole time, right beside us, invisible to the others. But we signed up to stick around for the results of that solar flash and take as many up with us as possible. These influences, unpleasant as they are, are designed to keep us here.

        It was also mentioned to me that since it is a new grid we are energizing, we’ve been kept apart to maintain our positioning.

        It would be nice, wouldn’t it, to be silent and alone together? But I think it would more than double our trouble, so I won’t even ask where you are. But I do send my blessings, my brother, from the heart.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Okay, now, in reference to a reading I had thirty years ago I’m going to ask you to describe your physical appearance, specifically height and coloring ~ if that’s okay.

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      6. Oh, I now have a shaved head! The hair is now white though. My colour previously was a reddy brown. If I grow a moustache it’s definitely a dark ginger with red/goldflecking. I burn easily.

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      7. Okay, different person mentioned in that reading. Everything else in it has come true, so wondering if that will too. The individual is not a sexual interest (physically too shredded for any more of that in this life) but someone associated with the final phases of my ascension assignment on 3D.

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      10. btw we are alone together regardless of any geographical area and it’s like at least 5000 miles, yep it’s nice to know you’re there too although it’s not really a consideration in the scheme of things, is it?

        I find that the heart ebbs and flows, tide like. Discernment arising with it’s withdrawal. And, this only being the case once the Silence has also spoken or rathermore shown ‘grace’ within which one abides.

        It does appear to me that much of life, as seen through conventional wisdom tells us, and is actually almost, if not completely, the opposite or outside of the material and physical world.

        This doesn’t negate any physical or material hardship it does recast the need for a freshed understanding of emptiness, nothingness and silence as Self.

        I find that there’s a confusion arisen from the material and physical mechanisms of homelessness and the intended and valued notions of being-homeless and, initially seeking, then seeing a way home from not-self to Self in emptiness, often sublime.

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      11. Nice opening three lines. Not sure what you mean that it’s not a consideration so can’t venture an opinion there

        Discernment arises with the withdrawal of the heart? Perhaps with the withdrawal of all the false and limiting expectations currently placed around it. Not the heart itself ~ that IS discernment.

        We might be thinking of different definitions of conventional wisdom, which appears to me to apply itself to the material and physical world at the expense of the spiritual.

        I’m glad you find your homelessness sublime. Me, not so much.

        I’m in as rotten a shape emotionally right now as I can ever remember being. There’s no end, and there’s no end.

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      12. Let me try that again, after meditation.

        I was greatly surprised, myself, when I recommenced writing perhaps ten years ago, that it was the very simplest manifestations of language which could be summoned to express any thought of mine ~ including the poetic ~ which most greatly appealed to its readers.

        That the simplest expressions I can find for thoughts revolving at 180 IQ themselves turn out to be, um, full of many words does not alter their effectiveness, so long as my own focus in channeling them is to express them as simply as possible.

        And that is a key: they’re all channeled, every word. I just hold intention and a small device, truly a humble scribe.

        Most intellectuals in our society delight in a complexity of meandering vagueness, so to introduce a note of emotional whimsey entirely fictive (or self-longing) in nature: such has been quite deliberately, ruthlessly and brutally exterminated in them in their course through our (very putatively named) institutions of higher learning.

        In your case, you actually possess all the depth, insight, magical whimsey and emotional richness which they in general abysmally lack ~ but, as the oracle at Delphi would put it, you don’t know that you know.

        When you know that you know you’ll stop looking up to academics who aren’t any higher than your knee and start just blurting everything out as basics. Afterward you may or may not be surprised at how many words there are.

        It’s interesting to me that this simplicity principle seems to be as necessary between two highly thinking ascendents as between ourselves and those to whom we have been here to outreach.

        So ~ I’ll need primary level breakdowns on some of those more loosely jointed statements ~ this is a different arena entirely than that to which you in the, gratefully, increasingly far past may have aspired…

        Thoughts for you. Peaceful night to you 🙏

        Liked by 1 person

      13. gotcha, thank you Ana ❤

        *for clarity when referring to homelessness I am, indeed, meaning spiritual wandering and a returning to home as heart, and as intended all along. the material experience is a whole other thing. sending you love my friend*

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      2. Forever the same Dearest Poet. I do hope that your physical needs are being attended to with the grace of good hearts; with a love, so deserved for you,Ana. Forever the same, it is.

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      3. You know what? I just found myself welcomed to this neighborhood, invited to park near the house of a hero and his faithful canine. “You’re safe here now with us,” he said.

        Of course, no one can make another person completely safe, and I don’t expect it. But you know what a friendly spot in spite of everything means to me right now. Isn’t it wonderful?

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      6. messy, my boots are so comfy and warm I hardly take them off. well, I don’t if truth be known. the dye from the inside has discoloured them an orange/brown. it was hard to know what was muck 😆

        AND

        same to you Ana, it’s good to have friends

        btw I found being-in-silence-being-self so, well So. I have had to force myself back into the physical world and tend to stuff here too…

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  24. Yeah, anything above 32 is positively warm, too warm 😆. I spent the day getting clean.
    Most of time was at the launderette catching up with my washing. I just love watching the washing cycle and trancing out.I also had a good scrub and shave. Although not at launderette, 😍 Jubbly. My feet are a bit of a mess though. Still, nothing to really whinge about. I am so,so pleased for you Ana.

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      1. Got your reply on my notifications but not in my edit page. Onsite I got it with no way to reply. Glad your feetsies are okay.

        Awoke this morning 5 am. Four fire trucks and a police car surrounding me. My protector’s house was on fire. Wanna bet it was melted wiring from my stalker’s EMP gun? Hope I get a chance to talk to him soon.

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      1. I have been there with melted electrical fittings.

        The, then, van I had went up in flames and burnt down in less than 10mins.

        I didn’t have much back then but did lose, to the fire, all my kids little treasures.

        I know that you’re aware but do stay alert too Ana. What a fucking drag,eh! Attrition is a real bastard.

        btw Your friend having Anandamayi Ma’s hand written work is a neat find. If she’s not a devotee herself I’d urge their repatriation. Just saying 😌

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      2. I’m only surprised it hasn’t happened already. An explosion would put me in the hospital, too, where they want me eventually, after I’ve suffered enough.

        They read every word we write. Got any more encouragement/ideas for them? I’m sure it’ll be nothing not already in the works, but geez

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      3. Just looked up Ma. How is it I have remained ignorant of such beauty? That she succeeded in being surrounded by events just as beautiful is so beyond me, who am surrounded by events of ugly destruction. She embodies that for which I have always striven, though, so yay, call me another devotee! Thank you for bringing your recommendation of her to my attention.

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    1. Always nice to hear from you. It’s hard for me to read about homemaking when I seem less and less likely ever to have one again, but I send blessings for your kind happiness every so often.

      I follow Anandamayi Ma? What gave you that idea?

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      2. I do remember her name going by, but not in what context it did so. It’s not one I’d heard before… Unless she’s the beautiful always smiling one who loves to wear hats?

        I find WordPress to be a more secure way to communicate, even with its occasional glitches, than email, which sometimes delays and sometimes loses my correspondence altogether.

        1954 sounds interesting. What’s the theme?

        Nice to be in touch 🙋

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      4. She was perfectly beautiful! And to think, with that same poetic innocence and those same uniformly uplifting intentions and that same free spirit with which I have somehow managed to surround myself with constant disaster, she was surrounded by beauty in its most divine forms, and she lived long and was loved by all and prospered!

        Though I have left the world a few unwanted poems, she succeeded in all the most important ways, and it makes me feel better for failing in them myself.

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      6. You are very good. This was a very good day for me to receive this affirmation, as I’m pretty sure my stalker just set my new friend’s house on fire last night. 🙏🌹

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      10. My great grandmother told me when I was 13 years old. I went home and snooped through my mom’s things, I read the autopsy records. I searched through the news papers from the time. Sure, enough it was a sucide. There was a rumor that it wasn’t him and he was seen alive throguh the years. So, I wrote my book as though that rumor was true.

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      13. She abandoned your mother?

        You’re writing about the homeless? Good for you! You know about my web book on the subject? You could feel free to mine it for material/inspiration, that’s what I wrote it for, as a seed. Let me know if you want the link.

        In California, I just read, they’re going past even the rising camps and putting the homeless in mental institutions if the family requests it. Life is harder here but it looks like I left there just in time. My family comes straight out of white trash Nazi hell.

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      14. My mother’s mother left her, my mother left me . My sister left her kids. I was the one that broke the cycle. No, I didn;t know about your book. I started writing about the Miane encampment because it is where I used to play, I know the area so well. California is not treating people right at all, Blue papering to get people off the streets is abuse.

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      15. Boy, did you ever break the mold! What is this, the third batch you’re raising?

        In my case, my kid got caught shoplifting while living with people she loved and I was paying to host her, lied and said she had no way of contacting me, found herself being shuffled through the system as abandoned. I found out, showed up in court, wrote to the judge, worked with her court officer, did everything I could to get her a good home by working with rather than against the system, and ended up with the first strike on my legal record which on that basis has since become liberally decorated with false complaints ~ especially these last three years, while my stalker, all unbeknownst tome, was getting people to make them. Not a single conviction, of course. No actual guilt.

        Targeting is a terrible crime, and it’s beyond despicable to target a homeless, elderly disabled female. Shame on him.

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    2. Geez-Us it is, Ana. A return to Silence is, I find, beckoning. Yet, I know, it’s only until the reconciliation of heart and will are agreed upon, and the activation of a new-ego-level self actioned. I am though very, very tired of being here. The collapse of past incarnations of anger remains problematic. More work is needed and that’s why Anandamayi Ma presented herself to me. Knowing, brings it’s own tribulations sometimes my own ignorance prompting ego, as a positive desire for learning, into new behaviour. Yet having been ‘home’ I don’t wanna leave, again. I, will, though, again. When, IS, the only conditioned factor and a renewed courage of faith in, it is, written.

      Go lightly, Ana. Much love ❤ .

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      2. Well, just so you know, I sent my apology before receiving your withdrawal. It truly is not good to keep giving this hacker the feeling that burning vans is a thing, but I was too freaked out to communicate it properly. It’s a goal of this stalker that I can never have a normal friendship, and so far he has succeeded in aces. Go lightly yourself, my brother. Sorry again.

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  26. just got lost in all the words Ana. although I am returning to ‘silence’. it’s the reality the follows from this place of bliss I now enter. your own truth will guide you. clearly you have much to offer others here and they you. embrace the love gained from such searing losses of which a mother’s tale is unique and must be heard ♥ ❤

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    1. What a beautiful gift for me to find today. I know there must be many more who deserve your prayers than you have the limited mortal energy to provide, and I am honored to be among your spiritual flock. Thank you so much for your prayers, and for this beautiful affirmation 🙏🌹💖

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    1. I was just thinking about you this morning! I wondered how your homestead is surviving all the snow. 10 inches, you say! More to come, I understand, too…

      I have made it through so far without getting sick. I thought all was lost today when informed by a policeman that Pueblo does not obey the Colorado Right to Rest Act and I’d be required to move away from what has become a neighborhood that knows and likes me, to a position outside city limits, where there is no safety at all.

      Then the owner of the house I’ve been parked in front of invited me to park on the property. God bless his courageous heart, and those of all here (many strapping young men with mellow attitudes ~ I feel like a superannuated Maid Marion). I immediately made a contribution & will continue to do so if all goes for once as it should…

      Whatever tomorrow brings, I believe my life has been saved today.

      Thank you for your prayers. Stay on top o’ the snow! 🙏🌹

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      12. You’re not the only aware person I’ve heard express reservations about that work. I myself have received teachings ~ Yogananda comes to mind ~ which rang tinny to my own truth sense, but I could see might be aligned better for other receivers ~ in his case, to the very intellectual, suffering from being cut off from their emotions, which they are then seeking.

        If you’d like to lighten up, Google Swami Beyondananda at “Wake up Laughing.” That’ll jolt you out of your spiritual quicksand ☺️

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      16. He’s referring to the ascension process we’re all going through as a race and planet. Our quantum sciences now understand that many dimensions exist simultaneously, the light writers use a general jump from the 3rd to the 5th dimensions as shorthand for the change (“Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven” is a little clumsy). Alec, being somewhat ahead of the curve, decides to fool around on the 12th before heading back down to take care of some more business ☺️✨

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      20. Really? Nobody’s celebrated your beach ball sized heart, excellent mind, keen societal insight, exquisite sensitivity and dedication to Light spirit?

        Their loss. As my mother used to say, they have only their own standards to judge you by.

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      21. Blushing Ruby Red, or What? I spent decades being persona-non-grata and just got use to it, I suppose. Just means I can hold my breath like forever when doing the deep dives. And, thanks, in large part to you Ana, know it’s worth it. Keep on keeping on Dear Poet. I am most certain that you help so many others breathe too.

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      22. I know what you mean~ Ive been holding my breath so long I feel like either I don’t know how to talk any more, or I never did and have just shut up long enough to realize it. I’m currently leaning toward the latter theory…

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      4. Hey Ana, I’m just popping by. Gonna start a new deep dive this weekend. You’ve been in my thoughts and heart. Wishing for you that all is Good ~ as good as the inside is, that IS. Much love Sis or S~IS 💕

        Liked by 2 people

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